I find it kind of ironic when people tell me I seem confident because I’m also very anxious. I used to be embarrassed to say I’m confident. You’re not supposed to acknowledge your good qualities for some reason.
But it’s true I AM confident. It's a quality I consistently work on.
That doesn’t mean I’m free of insecurity. I think that’s what holds many people back from being confident. The misconception that confidence is a thing that you inherently ARE, not something that you DO, and that it's final and unwavering.
“One day I’ll be confident” as if you’ll wake up one morning and suddenly have the ability to conquer your greatest fears.
Being confident is a conscious choice that you have to make every day no matter how uncomfortable it might feel. Better yet, the more uncomfortable it feels the more reason to strive for it.
I can always spot a fellow anxious person and often feel a responsibility to give them some encouragement and permission to be themselves. They’re always the most amazing people who just need a little push.
Many confident people feel anxious, it’s normal and human. Confidence doesn’t mean that you don’t feel anxious, it's doing things despite the anxiety.
This is why I have a love/hate relationship with speaking to large groups or new people. I get knots in my stomach, my hands shake, and I ramble. But I still force myself to do it because I love connecting with people and I’m not going to stop myself from experiences I enjoy for fear of what? A tight knot in my stomach? Nah. I’ll deal with it like I would a running nose or a cough.
I’ve become somewhat addicted to going against my anxiety out of spite. If I feel anxious about something I’ll go out of my way to do exactly that. What are my feelings to stop me from doing what I want?
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it - Bill Cosby